Dan de Oliveira: Groomsman


Dan de Oliveira: Groomsman

Dan met Greg at West Morris Central during their junior year near headquarters for lunchtime hijinks – Dan’s locker.  Greg and his less than useful mechanical skills were in need of a car stereo re-wire and install job Greg overlooked a few details, and an hour job took three hours of freezing cold work.

Dan and Greg celebrated victory that night by going to an import car show… think ‘The Fast and the Furious” meets ‘Maxim’ magazine.  Sure, it was terrible, but at the time it was what we were into. Dan and Greg thank you for not passing judgment.

That one trip has turned into a dozen years (and counting) of friendship, questionable decision-making, road trips, vacations, spring breaks, poor choices, horsepower, businesses, and a brother Dan never had.

In 2004 Dan decided to move to Florida via an icy two-day adventure down the east coast.  Pilgrimage highlight reel: an ice covered totally closed interstate, a dozen sold out hotels, and capped off with sleeping in an overly packed sports car – good times! Hey Greg, thanks for flying up for that, a sucker is born everyday – hope you loved the trip.

Post migration Dan worked with Greg on an insanely wild roller coaster ride of an Internet startup.  Although the first pass didn’t work out, since then Dan has used his many tools – good looks, razor sharp quick wit, OCD attention to detail and passion for building quality Internet products… to actually get pretty fast at typing.  Dan reports Mavis Becon can “kiss his ass” and would like to go back to 6th grade to let his typing teacher know “he has made it”.

Unfortunately things have taken a turn for the worst, and now Dan and Greg pass time by discussing the brands of cookware Williams Sonoma carries, and the proper care for non-stick pans. Yeah, they are slightly older than they were in 2001, more grown, undeniable more handsome (than most).

If Dan looks familiar it is likely because you and 3.058390 million of your closest friends (at the time of writing) have seen him do his thing on YouTube – where he had a small run years back reviewing questionable As Seen on TV products. Dan is clearly an average man on a quest to prevent the average man from wasting bread.

Shameful Plug and Fair Consumer Warning for Readers:

Bad – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVBgDk4Opig

Good – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSnyAht-uwo (still have that one and will use it to pack for this adventure)

Dan currently resides in Delray Beach, Sunshine Cesspool USA in quaint digs his friends call “The Venetian” due to their jealously of proper interior decorated living spaces, and it’s miles of crown molding. He is a 74” tall bronze statue of a man with 18” biceps. He is GracWedding’s Most Eligible Bachelor and has kindly listed accolades below.

Accolades:

  • Nationally Ranked Charmer
  • World Class Comic
  • Son of a One-time Hawaiian Tropics Satellite Contest Winner (congrats Pops)
  • 2nd Team All American: Good Looks
  • Captain of Team Sarcasm
  • Equipment Manager – Modesty (99-02)
  • Globally Recognized Good Looks

All kidding aside, Dan is very happy for his old friend Greg, and extremely excited for his new “Bestie” Christine! If you forget your sunscreen for the trip, worry not – G.G.DannyD will have plenty of tanning oils, he feels SPFs of 8 or higher are for the weak.


Posted on November 1st, by admin in Wedding Party.

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